Jumping The Skunk

I was sitting at my desk in the Cob shack that I call my office when the phone rang. R-Ring. From the caller-id display I could see it was the Board Chairman, Hudley Brinkley. He was probably calling me to fire my ass. After the Global Warming Chart fiasco, I had called-in sick for three days instead of reporting to him as ordered. I guess I had been hoping that things would blow over. But, I guess I should have known: at the dump, the longer you leave something above ground the more rotten it gets.

Now, it would all come crashing down. I was in no mood to take shit, however. Perhaps I should have exercised more due diligence over the research project. But that did not warrant the threat of termination. R-Ring.
Ok asshole, I'm thinking, Let's get it over with. I picked up the receiver. "Hello Hudley, what can I do for you, today?"
"Good morning. I won't beat around the bush. I'm hearing some disturbing news about goings-on over there..."
"I'm not sure I get you, Hudley," I replied, wondering where this was going. "Is this about the chart mix-up?"
Hudley hesitated for a moment. "No, No. Forget about that. This is important. It's about the Blowjobs."

"Blowjobs?" Surprise! Somehow, the news had leaked-out about the recent locker-room incident, where one of the young female interns had given blowjobs to 5 of the dump staff. "Ah, yeah. So, you know about that little incident?"
"Uh Huh. My phone has been buzzing!"
"Well, not to worry. I spoke with the young lady in question. She insists she was not pressured. She has no intentions of making charges." I responded in a tone that implied that the matter was settled.

"Not exactly," he shouted, "The feminazis in town have been on a warpath. They are all over my case. They want those men punished - maybe even suspended."
"I can't do that - I need these guys to get the work done. You're talking about my whole staff!"
"Even Vernon?" he asked querulously.
"Yeah, even good old Lardass," I chuckled. "His first time, I'm betting. Turns out the gal has this fetish for unusual smells. "
"You don't say?"
"Yup, she tells me that her favorite smell is... skunk. The guys said she has a tongue like an ant-eater."
"Wow. So, how are you planning to handle the matter?" He was less agitated now. The skunk factoid seemed to calm him.
"No Krispy Kremes for a week."
"Ooh, Harsh." he marveled at my toughness.
"They deserve it. It was a disgusting thing. Poor kid, she needs a lot of one-on-one counseling to, you know, help her deal with it."
"Where is she?"
"At my crib...Resting." Referring to the rented apartment I kept in town. Hudley knew of it, and had, on occasion, borrowed the key.
"Let me know if you need any help...." I could hear him breathing heavily now.
"Good idea. Why don't you come on over tonight. Bring some wine. She likes White Zin."
"Well let's hope between the two of us, we can get that poor kid straightened-out," he said and hung-up. Yeah, I thought, and maybe a good blush BJ will help the Chairman forget about tying a can to my tail.