Hot Day at the Dump

You'd be surprised at the things people bring to the dump. Things they want to get rid of. Ghosts that haunt them. Items that hold dark memories. Some people need to get rid of things that they have stolen. As if that will assuage their guilt and fear. No, my poor dumplings, it will not do. Redemption cannot be found at the dump, you need to go to a redemption center if you expect to get your deposit back.

Today a Wellesley citizen brought the carcass of a moose to the compost area.
"Sorry buddy, we can't compost animals." I said waving the black Hummer away from the bins.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do with this dead fucking moose?" he shouted.
"Take it back where you got it" I said.
"How long that thing been dead?" Lardass asked, looking as if he was thinking Bar-B-Que.
"Fuck if I know. Couple a days judging from the flies," said the Hummer driver. "I found it on my lawn this morning."
"Look, buddy," I said in a friendly, helpful tone "They don't let us handle this sort of thing...you know... normally. But, i'm thinking: if I could get a few bucks, I know a guy who..."
"How Much?" the hummer guy interrupted, jerking his wallet from his hip pocket. He opened it up and I could see a raft of twenties nestled and folded in the pure leather of his billfold, which was clearly not a Marshall's special value item from a 3rd world nation.
"Three Hundred." I began the bidding, willing to do it for a hundred.
"Done. Where can I put it?" He started counting out the bills. I mentally kicked myself for not asking for five hundred.
Lard ass was untying the fetid corpse. "Leave it right here - I'll go get the backhoe."
The hummer guy looked relieved. He handed me the bills. I stuffed them in my shirt pocket.
"Just one other thing..." he motioned for me to come over to look in the back of the hummer. it looked like the body of a young dead woman wrapped in a white sheet. Blood stains appeared around the torso as if she had been stabbed repeatedly.
"How much, do you think?"
"Another fifty should do it," I said cheerfully. "Your lucky day. We have to dig the hole for the moose anyway."