> For your safety, no dogs are allowed at the dump at anytime. Leashed and muzzled dogs should be kept inside your SUV with the windows up so we cannot hear them barking.
> Ball Playing and Frizbees are not allowed
>Please help us to keep the dump clean. Use trash barrels.
> Alcoholic beverages are allowed, if shared with dump personnel.
> Radioactive substances should be recycled in the appropriate "take and Leave" bins. Weapons grade plutonium should be disposed in the "Fissionable" area and kept out of the "Kids Stuff" toy recycle area. We have had some recent unfortunate "accidents" recently. The USAF disaster control team might have labelled them "Broken Arrows", but we just call them "Un-necessary incidents resulting in hideous childhood deformities."
> Please park your SUV's in the spaces provided. The handicap spots are for cripples and blind people. Please be thoughtful. And would the Orientals in your stupid Hondas, please stay out of the Negro parking spots. A lot of pregnant women have been parking anywhere they choose. Your specially marked spots are clearly identified. Pay attention.
> The dump is at the disposal of all citizens; enjoy your visit. Obey the rules so your fellow dumpfucks can enjoy also.
Thank you
DF
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Bring us your soggy crackers and crumpled paper yearning to be composted, your old cardboard and plastic bottles huddling in your garage. This is the dump; its not just our job, it is who we are: Dumpsterguys
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