Replacements

I was sitting at the desk at my office reading the Al Franken blog.  It quotes sources who  say that the new leader in Iraq  - allawi - is nearly as bad as Saddam in terms of brutality.  He didn't humiliate a gang of captured prisoners recently.  Whe they wouldn't cooperate, he just pulled out his pistol and started shooting them in the head.  PS the others started talking like schoolgirls.    I don't know if it is true or not, but it seems believable, given our historical record of installing puppets. 
 
The phone rang.  It was Bill.
"Hey, I'm not feeling too well today.  I need a sick day."
"Bill, you don't need to call in.  You don't work here any more.  I fired you last week."
"You were just joking. "
"No I wasn't.  You never show up anyway. "
"Who is doing my job?"
"Bob,"  I lied. 
"Bob?"
"Yeah, Bob - the guy from DumpTemps."
"Where is he sitting?"
"On your backhoe.  The guys really like him."
"I'm coming in.  I feel a little better."
"No, don't go to any trouble.  We have Bob.  He's doing a great job."
"Look you fucker.  You can't just fire me like that.  Remember, I have those pictures..."
 
I thought for a minute about the trip to Las Vegas for that RDF convention, a few years ago.  Somehow, Bill had come into possession of some embarrassing photos.  Not the kind that they print in Southern Recycling, if you know what I mean.  He had been blackmailing me for over a year.
 
 I caved.  "OK, but you better get your ass in here by lunch time." 
Lardass came in just as I was hanging up the phone.
"Who was that?" he asked, noting the look on my face.
"Bill."  I answered flatly.
"Bill who?"