Code Breaker

I have been reading the best seller "The Rule of Four,"  an engaging  tale about Ivy league roomates who spend their time trying to learn the mystery behind an ancient text whose title is unpronouncable.   They discovered that the key to reading the text was a riddle that could solve the code.    The answer to the riddle was always a number.  The number was the key to the text.  A message would be formed by capturing the nth word of the first sentence in every paragraph of the text.    
 
This was the sort of stuff that appeals to Math Nerds.  I am an idea guy - a problem solver but not a puzzle solver.   But, it was time to put my theory (about secret terrorist messages being encoded in the Bird sightings column of the Globe) to the test.   I got out Sunday's paper and found the Bird Sightings on page B12.  I scanned the page looking for a clue that would provide the riddle.     In This Day In History,  I noticed that July 18th is the anniversary of the infamous Chappaquiddick incident in 1969, where Sen Kennedy's car went off the bridge.  I have always regarded it as an unfortunate accident involving a drunk driver.  But, Kennedy haters (and there are a few here at the Dump) regard it as more than a wrongful death.   (They are either unaware or forgetful about the fact that the current First Lady was also involved in a fatal accident where she was deemed at fault in 1963 for running a stop sign and crashing into a car which was driven by her boyfriend.  Like the president's war record, few details have been made public.  But it does make you wonder.  Such a coincidence that it was her boyfriend that she hit....)
 
Mysteries.  I began to peruse the Bird Sightings column.   Letsee,  there were  purple headed finches seen in Framingham, hornbills in Havehill, lesser grebes in Gloucester, an immature scarlet tanninger roosting in Taunton , a flock of pig faced whores at Revere Beach,  suicide bombing quaidas spotted on  top deck of Prudential center, Ruby throated hummingbirds making a raquet in  Harwich.   No, nothing of interest here.   As I studied the timeless text of the Audubon notes, the urge to nap came over me so strongly that I simply fell asleep at my desk.   I was awakened by the lumbering Lardass coming in for afternoon break.
 
"You'll never guess what I saw at the North recycle area,"  He exclaimed.  I looked up, groggy from my dream.
"A pair of mature freckled Hooters?" I inquired hopefully.