Organic Thoughts

Yesterday was another muggy Sunday morning. As is our habit, a bunch of us dump denizens were sitting inside the cob house munching on stale bakery goods and day-old coffee. It was too warm to stoke up the old Franklin stove, but not warm enough for the A/C.
Lefty - who is about to observe his 63rd birthday - had recently renewed his driver's license, and he was telling us that he had checked-off the organ donor card.
"Who the christ would want one of your corroded body parts?" I objected. "For fuck's sake, it's irresponsible to even offer them, knowing how you've abused your body."
"The stuff on the right side has hardly been used," Lefty sneered, lighting up an unfiltered Camel with a kitchen match.
"Hey no smoking in here," yelled Lardass. Lefty ignored him.
Lardass is accustomed to being ignored by nearly everyone. "Ok, but your just killing yourself with those things, those cancer sticks."
Lefty just blew a puff of smoke at him. Lardass got up and opened a window.
"Some poor shmuck waiting for a 'healthy' kidney gets one of your beseiged parts. It ain't right." Lardass has this empathetic streak that makes him weep for a world full of pain and disappointment. The rest of us have become numb to the feelings of others. We have out own problems. (Who weeps for my nagging rectal itch?)
"I want to keep all my body parts," I declared. "You never know, maybe that thing the terrorists say about the 76 virgins in the afterlife is true. I figure, you need to take all your parts with you, just in case...."
Rajid chuckled, "Why would anyone want virgins? Wouldn't it be more like paradise to have slutty, experienced whores? Getting on top with breasts the size of Bombay Mangoes..."
"Well, I just don't want people cutting stuff out of me after I'm dead."
Just then, we heard a horn honking outside. It was the Dalai Lama , an old friend of the dump. He stops by whenever he's in town. He was driving a rented Miata convertible.
"Hey dudes!" he greeted us cheerfully.
"Hello Dalai!" we sang "It's so nice to see you back ..."
"Can stay and chitchat, dudes. Busy, Busy. Just came by to drop off some old robes." he had a black plastic garbage bag which presumably contained used buddhist apparel. "Can you see that these get into the Goodwill dumpster?"
"Hey, no problemo, Big Dee." It was Lardass who once again asked the question that was on everyone's mind, "So, what does the Lama wear, under his robe?"