Traderous Cohorts

"Ok Guys, listen up." I yelled from my desk to the staff who had assembled for morning report. George in his gray work shorts and faded maroon shirt; Bob, from Dumptemps dressed in his impeccable orange jump suit; Lardass in his shit-stained jeans and a blue denim shirt with the collar ripped off; and the new intern, a kid named Hobart Melancholy. He was wearing a dark blue suit, neatly pressed clean white shirt and a prep school tie with diagonal stipes.
They were a boisterous rabble in the morning, jacked-up on Dunkin Donut Latte's and Starbucks dark roast, eager to start their day as trash processing specialists.

When the Yada yada decreased to a dull roar, I started reading announcements:

"Don't forget the annual dump moose bake and softball game will be held next thursday nite after work. Attendance is mandatory. Let's all have fun this year."

Everyone was thinking about the six inches of rain that fell last year from Hurricane Latisha, ruining the day. Then there was the problem with food poisoning.

"This year we will have a freshly killed moose." I assured them. Many of those who got sick last year had complained that the meat didn't seem fresh.
That was Lardasses dumb idea to use an inexpensive road-killed moose. It had apparently spent a few hot days in the back of the truck before they delivered it for our picnic.

"Also, we have been getting complaints from citizens about an unpleasant odor." I made direct eye contactwith Lardass and held it meaningfully until he looked away.

"Please, let's try to stay downwind from the citizens. And, oh yeah, from now on we will refer to them as "guests" the way they do at Disney world. And workers here will henceforth be referred to as "cast members." " I had heard of the amazing morale that the Disney people had acheived by simply changing the way you refer to employees and clients. We are in the forefront of new ideas here, too.

"Lastly, one of the cast members has been traded to the Natick Dump. Bill will not be back. Management wishes him well in his future endeavers."
Lardass regained eye contact and raised his hand to ask a question.
"Bill who?" he inquired.