Olympic Musings

The guys were out in the yard processing garbage, so I had the office to myself for a while. A few minutes to think about things and to do my management paperwork. Being a manager at the dump is a lot like being an Olympic coach. Except at the dump the people working for you are out of shape and severely lacking in motivation. Still, they are very competitive. Especially when it comes to nationality. Thanks to a vigorous diversity pogrom, we have weeded out all the undesirable nationalities. (I think we all know which ones are in the undesirable category. )

I was reading about the Iraqi athletes participating in the Games. I'm surprised that they are not a bit more gushingly grateful to the USA for eliminating their former sadistic coach, Uday Hussein. (In the good old Saddam days, if they lost their event, they would feel lucky if they only had a toe amputated.) My team fails all the time, and I treat them mercifully.

A lot of "athletes" seem to be pussies. If they come in second they burst into tears. (Shades of hysterical Oksana Baiul. You remember - the skinny chick who won a gold medal in figure skating. She even cried when she won! Hey that reminds me - What ever happened to the bad girl of skating - Tanya Harding? - They say she would have won that competition if she hadn't kept falling down)

And how about those Israelis? Finally, A gold medal. Hmmn. Must be a typo - the Globe says it was windsurfing. Somehow, windsurfing seems too frivolous for an Israeli sport. Shouldn't their premium sport be shooting or wrestling?

Watching the games on TV is tedious if you just watch NBC. The tallies of national medals is boring and meaningless. The cold war is over. If we win more gold medals than China does that get us any more votes at the UN? Or do we get preferred seating at the Winter games?

The so-called expert announcers need to shut-up and let us watch the play, rather than bombarding us with detailed background information and useless trivia. I've been switching to the Hispanic channel, where they show a much wider variety of competition - not just USA involved events. And, the bonus is you can't understand the narration, so you can just enjoy watching the game/fight/event.

My musings were interrupted by the bumblings of my crew barging into the office for the morning coffee break. George was first through the door making directly for his corner chair near the air conditioner. Bob, the dumptemp, was next wearing his spotless coveralls and shined boots. Lardass was last. Fat, filthy and breathing heavily.
"Hey. Which of you pricks ate the last donut?" he yelled, looking in my direction.
"I don't know," I shrugged innocently, absently flicking crumbs off my desk. "Somebody must have come in and took it while I was in the can."