It Takes a Village

Hillary Clinton wrote the book entitled “It takes a Village.” Like the majority of people who feel free to comment on its contents I did not read it, nor do I plan to. But, according to consensus, it is apparently a blueprint for global socialism. Guys like Clooney go ballistic when you use words like 'global' (unless you are talking about tits) because they think you are trying to level the playing field by syphoning their gas tank. Yet, when the so-called welfare handouts (like the recent cost-of-living increases in social security payments) and free cheese programs are being extended to them, you don't hear a peep. This is just one of the wonderful and amazing connections (and blockings) that the intelligent human brain devises in order to justify a strongly-held belief.
But elitist political leanings are a topic for another day. We need to stay on point.

My topic today is "The Origins of Community Based Recycling Efforts and Global Warming"

Anyone who is interested in this topic should definitely not read Hillary's book. Frankly, while Clooney asserts that she has an intimate knowledge of "white trash", in fact, she knows very little about landfills and recycling.

Better you should read The recent article published by the MIT Environmental Programs Task Force entitled, "MIT thinks Globally, acts Locally to combat Global Warming." They say, "While skeptics still exist, a consensus around climate change issues continues to grow."

Cloony shouts, "Bah! MIT - what do those numbnuts know about science? Read my Blogs if you want the Truth!"

I say, Show me a gathering of humans - however small - where they did not leave a pile of trash behind. Dum dum dum de dum - I'm waiting.... Hah! See, you cannot!
So, let me now reveal the most exciting news item of the day. I, your esteemed DFM am writing my memoir entitled: "It Takes a Village to Make a Dump."

Here is an exciting excerpt:
"Once primitive man invented the campfire, the idea spread like wildfire (or was it the plague?) Coming home from a night of tacking, killing and dragging-home the family dinner, it just seemed natural to sit around singing and drinking beer, making popcorn and toasting marshmallows. Having warm and crackling fire became a popular fad for migrating herds of humans and eventually someone thought to bring the fire into the cave. This caught-on because it appealed to the innate human desire to spend time looking at something. Humans, unlike most competitive social species, seemed to have a need to gather in groups to form an audience. "

And in the chapter titled "The Search for Paradise"
"The convergence of on-demand warmth plus something to look at gave momentum for the indoor outhouse (or as some people refer to it – the library). When you combine having a warm place in which to relax during the morning squat, together with comfortable shoes and a warm blooded mammal willing to have sex with you - and you have right there pretty much described “heaven” for most of the human species."

The fact that people gathering into audiences created the need for Theater. In the old days people went to the Bijou or the Paramount to sit enthralled while Betty Davis or Frankenstein charmed or horrified the villagers. Come to think of it, In the end she rather resembled him didn’t she? But that is another story.



The innate desire to watch others doing things (playing sports, having sex, answering questions for prizes, even eating) is probably rooted in the DNA strand that allows humans to enjoy vicarious pleasures. Research has shown that ants and other social creatures do not have devices for viewing images or listening to noise. Yet, visit any ant hill and you will see that it is actually a dump.

OK, sometimes the strands of thought are like threads in a broken loom. Tying it all together takes patience and dexterity. You be Patience and I'll be Dexter. .... Oops I just notice from the old schoolhouse clock on the wall that it is III (yawn)- past the time for the DFM's nap.

Stay tuned for Next time when I describe my bold new idea for a New Reality Show - The Amazing Global Village Dump Race.