As the Commander and Chief of this metaphor, I feel it necessary to apologize to loyal readers for the posts by the alter Ego (Bull Goose Clooney).
Apparently, he identifies with one or more of the characters whose behavior is documented here at the RDF, and takes personal affront.
Perhaps he is ticked off by the cartoons that Lardass posted on the bulletin board, depicting Clooney with melted cheese in his moustache, dancing like Elaine of Seinfeld fame.
Maybe he should get his own blog, so he can rant about the speed of mozzarella, or how many gravitons can dance on the crown of a bowling pin. Or, he could speculate on topics like where does wind go? Are dry farts really odorless? How do you edit these damned links?
To those of you who have asked for me to erase his postings and banish him to silence need to understand something: This is an American dump not some 3rd world metaphorical trash heap. We cherish free speech as long as it is funny.
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Bring us your soggy crackers and crumpled paper yearning to be composted, your old cardboard and plastic bottles huddling in your garage. This is the dump; its not just our job, it is who we are: Dumpsterguys
