After watching the popular "Reality" program on TV where Donald Trump pits would-be employees against each other in a cut-throat competition, I decided that we needed some new blood at the dump.
I advertised in the local paper: "Wanted: eager apprentice(s) to join the Dumpfucks Team. Must possess a instinct and aptitude for disposal. Masters Degree in rubbish desireable, ability to operate heavy machinery a plus. You will work for zero compensation for several years, and be subject to our liberal discrimination policies. If female must look good in thong underwear. Must be proficient in sorting recyleables. We will show preference for Six Sigma black belts who are quality and customer service driven. Experience with set-up, operatation and cleaning of traffic marking machine is a definite plus. Please send resume and references to DFM c/o dumpsterguys@aol.com "
I haven't had any applicants yet. E-mail is really slow around these parts during ice-fishing season.
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Bring us your soggy crackers and crumpled paper yearning to be composted, your old cardboard and plastic bottles huddling in your garage. This is the dump; its not just our job, it is who we are: Dumpsterguys
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