Too Many Homers

No, this is not an explanation for the recent Red Sox loss. This is a story of power and pathos. A blackout story. A chronicle of our times.

It was another sultry sunday morning. The electricity was back on and the usual gang of dumpfucks were sitting in the A/C induced coolness of the cobhouse, sipping yesterday's leftover coffee and stale donuts. Lardass has convinced the manager at Dunkin' Donuts (who speaks dubious English himself, yet was clearly chosen because he is the most literate and possibly the most un-tattooed employee at this location,) that he is collecting food for a homeless shelter.
Bill was rewrapping his knee, trying to get us to look at his scar and complaining about the lack of empathy in the world. "It's lonely when you are sitting home alone with your pain. It would be nice to have visitors once in a while."
"Pain is just a thought," intoned our newest member, Rajid. "Nothing more than imagination. You can control you thoughts. Banish your pain."
"Ok Depak, what if I whack you on the head with a golf club. Would the blood and headache be just your imagination? " Bill was not into transcendental thinking. He was looking for pity.
The single 60 watt bulb flickered off and on for a moment or two, and the rumble of the A/C motor seemed to change pitch. This offered a good excuse to change the subject.
"Anybody figured out why we had that power blackout? The news headlines called it the Great Blackout of 2003. Cripes, it's only August. How do they know it isn't the first in a series of even greater, more devastating blackouts?"
Lardass was first with his opinion: "Too many Homers!"
He is of course referring to Homer Simpson, that donut chomping sociopath who frequently falls asleep at the controls of the Springfield nuclear power plant, causing more than one meltdown in his tenure.
"Homer was always shutting off the warning alarms because they interrupted his naps. That explains what happened the other day."
"Maybe it was a gang of hackerists," I suggested, "Nobody can explain what happened. So how can they rule out hacker-terrorists? Switches that were supposed to be "On" were "Off." But nobody knows why. Sounds a lot like the kinds of things hackers do all the time. Maybe this was just a test."
Rajid shook his head. "No, No, that would be foolish because it would alert us to the threat. I think the problem is saturation."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, with all the wireless networks, cell phones, pagers, microwave transmissions, satellite dishes, lojack, GPS traffic, coupled with sunspots and earthbound lightning, the air is saturated with signals. There is a theory known as Harmonic Dissonance which explains it. Basically random signals are interferring with electronic programs, making processor- based appliances act funny. Interferring with whales' and dolphins' navigational systems. Crazy stuff. Making planes crash, trainwrecks, burnt toast, warm beer. "

We all pelted him with cheese balls. But it got us to thinking. (Hmm: beer.)