Cold Spell

Today we are getting a break from the sweltering heat wave we have been getting in Metrowest. It's only 80 right now, but the humidity has backed off to a slightly uncomfortable range on the Richter dew point scale.

I was sitting at my desk in the new air conditioned doublewide that I call my office, wondering why A/C did not stand for "air cooling" rather than "air conditioning." The new clock that Lardass had found in a dumpster, indicated that it was noon. Actually, there weren't any numbers on the clock face, It was one of those modern designs where you just know what time it is because you know what the clock face is supposed to look like. There must be a word for that sort of artistic cheating, I mused. The owner had probably been having trouble with some of the mid quadrant times like 8:25. That would account for the fact that he or she threw a working time piece into the dumpster. A shrink once told me that throwing usable items in the dumpster instead of bringing them to the "Take and Leave" area was often an act of rage. He may have been projecting his own anger problems, however. He was always saying things like "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

At any rate, I found the numberless clock only slightly less annoying than the old clock that had com from an ancient schoolhouse and had Roman Numerals on it.
"Why the fuck can't they just standardize clockfaces," I asked to no one. The place was empty. The crew was out hauling and shredding and front-end-loading.

If the clock was indeed operating correctly, the lads would be in for lunch break any second. I needed to look busy, just in case. So I cranked-up the PC and brought up one of my "budget" spread sheets.

During the lunch break, the conversation covered the usual topics:
The Fighting in Lebanon - Lardass was wondering why the terrorists and their supporters were always crying crocodile tears over the terrible killing of women and children. Perhaps, he mused, if they did not shoot their rockets off from the schoolyards and hospital parking lots (while aiming at Israeli women and children), the Israelis would be bombing military targets. Perhaps the cowardly militants were crying because the bombs were cutting into their supply of future suicide bombers and the uteri that produce them. Lardass can be crude sometimes but often he is spot on.
Health Issues - Bill was wearing his flu mask and surgical gloves. He wanted me to turn the A/C down because he was afraid of catching a cold. I asked him if he was asking me to turn the thermostat on the A/C up to a higher temperature. He just called me a nitpicker and stomped out to eat his "lunch" in his truck. I think he prefers the smell of wet dog in the summer to the aroma of Lardass anyhow.
Global Warming - George refuses to acknowledge that it has been hotter than a mutherfucker for the past month. It's just a seasonal aberration, a wobble and a kink in the jet stream that is responsible for unseasonable warmth, he says. Lardass expressed gratitude that he did not have to drive through the big dig tunnels during rush hour traffic. Imagine sitting there wondering about the melting point of the epoxy that holds up those 3 ton concrete ceiling panels.