Pretending Nothing is wrong

For the past two days, AOL has been unable to provide the service of accessing any address that was identified as http:// or www. This effectively eliminated me from accessing 80% of the features that AOL charges me for. Mail and IM still worked and so did their inane chatrooms. But none of the links worked, unless they were a secured connection (Https://) Perhaps this is interesting news to the advertisers who were charge by AOL for broken links. I know I found it annoying - more so since the AOL help system requires internet access. So there is no explanation, and no one to call to complain to.

Today, the access mysteriously returned. Hey, I am a curious type of guy so I decided to try to contact the online help desk for an explanation. I figured maybe they could shed some light on the situation - you know, power outage, disk crash, something I could understand.

I typed my question: Why couldn't AOL connect to www for two days?
The Tech: I understand that you cannot connect to the Internet.
Me: No I can connect now. I want an explanation why AOL could not provide service for the past two days.
Tech: Lets check some settings on your computer.
Me: It isn't anything about settings. It doesn't have anything to do with my system. AOL could not provide service and I want to know why?
Tech: are you currently signed on to the computer that was giving you the problem?
MR: Let me Talk to your supervisor if you do not understand my question.
Tech: Ok I will connect you with my supervisor. But first I need some information.
ME: NO you are wasting my time. I am logging off in five seconds.
Supervisor: Hello. I am The supervisor it is a pleasure to speak with you.
Me: Can you answer the question, please?
Supervisor: I understand that you cannot access the Internet.
Me: GOODBYE!
(Logs off AOL and makes a mental note to terminate service with this Dumpfuck outfit)

This is what is wrong with America - no one speaks English anymore.