Runaway Dumpfuck

A lot of news attention has been focused upon the recent disappearance of the Bride-to-be four days before her high-pressure wedding. Then, Fox, CNN, legitimate news networks as well as the American public were all disappointed by the discovery of the missing Ms Wilbanks, alive, unmolested and suffering only a bad haircut.

Yesterday and today, radio talk shows are still yakking about it. Some irate opinionators are calling for the lock-up and punishment of the same person whose safety they were praying for just days before. (Some say God answers prayers in his own time and manner).

No one is happy about the situation, except maybe the would-be groom - who is either too dumb to know that he has been made a fool of, or is delighted with his fifteen minutes of national fame. Watching his interview with Sean Hannity last night, I am tempted to assume that both possibilities are operative.

The moral of this story is that it is not nice to fool the news media. They wanted a kidnapping, bloody sexual violence and a grisly death. They want another Scott Peterson, not a good natured Glen Campbell look-a-like who professes Christian forgiveness. He had his church pastor accompany him on the interview with Hannity. Every question was invariably answered with "Well, that's hard to say. What do you think Pastor?" And the Rev would then answer the question with a bland positive spin. e.g., "She's not crazy, she just has some issues...."

But the media will not be happy until we have learned all the dark secrets in this poor girl's closet. She must be punished for what was probably a stress-related mental breakdown. The more we see of her family and wedding party, the more we can understand her reluctance.
In my humble opinion, the worst thing she did was to tell the cops she was kidnapped. That's called making false statements to authority (The same felony that got Martha Stewart into the slammer) An understandable violation, but still one that requires justice, providing that her mental state can be established, and found culpable.

Who among us has not wanted to flee at some point when the stress got too great? Cut our hair, buy a bus ticket to Dallas, have sex with a stranger (preferably an attractive woman over 18)? Who indeed? And if discovered, wouldn't we claim to have been abducted - by aliens?