Games

George and I were discussing the edgy public debate between the nominated first ladies that would decide the next election, when Lardass came into the office. He was wet, dripping dirty rainwater on the floor from his mud caked orange slicker. As usual, an aroma of shit pervaded the area where he stood. He carried a large brown paper bag.

"Hey guys, what's up?"
"What's up, my ass. Where have you been?"
He ignored my question, and went to the table whereupon he began taking items out of the bag. Coffee and donuts. Yumm, donuts.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I repeated. "You are supposed to open up, not stroll in like an invited lunch guest."
Lardass glanced over to George. "I figured George could get it opened up today, for a change. I slept late."
"Watching the game? Hey, we were up late too. We got here on time." I yawned.
"I wasn't watching baseball. Professional spectator sports are a waste of time. What kind of dufus sits and watches two groups of overpaid entertainers going through the motions as if they enjoyed 'playing' the sport? The games are dictated by Big TV money. That's why they are playing a summer game in October. It's all bullshit. You might as well be jerking off." Larass stuffed a boston kreme into his unshaven puss.
"If you weren't up late watching the game, then just what were you doing?" George wondered.
"Playing poker."
"Poker, you mean that you drove down to the casino last night? Foxwoods?"
"Naw, I play poker online. Texas Hold'em. It's addictive. You don't play for money, just bonus points."
"So you can't lose?" George twiddled his thumbs as he lined up for the killshot. "Talk about the ultimate jerk off!"

Suddenly, Lardass seemed to comprehend the emptiness and meaningless of his existence. He dropped like a heap into a chair and stayed staring at the floor as if he was watching a preview of a trash strewn future, devoid of hope or escape. I felt sorry for him. Even George realized that he had scored a deep wound, but could not bring himself to show compassion for the vanquished foe. He strode over to the table and grabbed one of the coffees that Lardass had brought.
"Didn't you get any bagels?" he demanded.